kindoheart:

you have to be part mechanic to use a sewing machine dang

snowpetrel:

things that aren’t funny

• misgendering justin bieber　

the-vashta-nerada:

• fun fact about the human body!
• if you took the skin of an average human and laid it out
• you would have enough
• to get a pretty fucking serious criminal conviction 

• Jesus: Love thy neighbor as thyself
• Apostle: What if they’re gay?
• Jesus: Did I fucking stutter?

Pigeons leave

submitted by gryffindor-supersaiyan

if i die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me i will come back and fucking murder them

I get this thought all the time

tavroast:

||crowbarslow||

barabarabuggy:

dersedreamer:

arkani-cappro:

…that must have been a very happy and loving relationship, jack. im glad you found love…. sorta.

*click for captions*

Scott this is for you. 

thank you darling ♥

/stabs

• Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
• America: Well sure why not?
• Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
• America: Whatever you want!
• Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
• America: Okay, sounds like fun!
• Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
• America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO